Juno

So I went to an audition yesterday. Here's the breakdown:

JUNO STORY - MALE / Non-Union / "MTV music video" / Lead / Male / Caucasian / 21-27
Younger, cool looking male, 21-27, who realizes that his girlfriend is about to have their baby IN PUBLIC on the corner of a street. Must be able to give a range of emotions. Action is in your facial expressions
Wardrobe: Cool, casual, maybe a hoody. If cast, shall bring some wardrobe changes.
Rate: $250/ 8 hours

I decided to play up the Juno-ness of the breakdown. So I wore a red t-shirt (which looked almost exactly like the one in the movie), a hoody, and a yellow sweatband. I thought it would be great.

I got there, and the director said,
"All right great. So now, you're no longer going to be returning the purse, you're the one who steals it, has a change of heart, and then brings it back."
Yes, it has nothing to do with Juno. Or the breakdown. I was part of a gang of guys who steal a purse. I was the one with the conscience. So I stole a purse, knocked a girl down, and brought the purse back. All with a yellow headband on.

I hope the band has a really good time with the audition of the guy who has on a sweatband for no reason whatsoever.

A Way to Feel Really Old...

Go through all of your saved emails. Preferably from an account you no longer use. You'll see all the emails from people you like but don't really talk to any more. And then you look and see that you really haven't talked to some of them in 3 years, which seems like a very, very, very long time.

I used to think nostalgia was a somewhat sweet emotion. Now, I wholeheartedly disagree.

RMI

I just finished reading a summation of this year's crop of students from Dartmouth who are teaching in the Marshall Islands. I was there in 2000, and it's incredible to see how much the program has grown. When I was there, Dartmouth sent 5 students for one term. Now there are more than 15 students spread throughout the atolls, every one of them much more focused on teaching and working with the community, with an incredible support system in place both there and in the states. Back in 2000, we were thrown to the lions, so to speak, in that we had no training in ESL (except for some guy talking to us for 30 minutes in Hanover) and no idea how difficult it would be to enact change in the classroom when there. These kids needed so much more than teachers - they needed better doctors, counselors, sex ed teachers - you name it, they needed it.

I never really got over my time there - it was just too painful to see my ideals of changing lives crushed by the reality of insufficient preparation and lack of support (as well as quite a healthy dose of my not allowing myself to feel like I ever moved on). But looking at the program now, with everything it has done, I am amazed. In eight years they have put kids on every major atoll, constructed a solid support system involving year-long, on site program coordinators and international financial backing, and this past month finished a staged run of Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors. Even though it was a shambles when I was there, the program has grown and flourished. It is healing to know that I was part of that process, even if it was rough. What a beautiful thing.

Games in my head

So I started a new workshop last night.  It went pretty well - I did my usual thing of sweating a bunch and getting myself all wrapped up about being 'the best.'  Whenever I start a new class, I always do that.  It might be from being rusty at acting, but I think it's also the idea that I always want to prove that I'm better than everyone.  Cause then, if I'm better than them, I'll have some sort of validation about being here, being an actor, when all I get other than classes is a cacophony of 'nos' from the business.  

The stupid part of that line of thought is that I end up sabotaging myself into giving terrible performances.  Part of why I'm taking this class is to get in front of commercial CDs, which is how I'm trying to get my SAG card.  Anything on film must be much more subtle than stage - the camera is there to pick up everything on your face that you wouldn't see on stage.  Commercial work is the epitome of this, since the actor only has between 3 and 10 seconds to make a choice and show it without losing truth.  So you have to be incredibly subtle while having all the same amount of preparation and work that you'd put into something onstage.  

I sucked on my first take.  I didn't listen to hear that I was supposed to have a line, so I missed it, and I went waaaay too big with my choice of eating a spicy chicken wing.  I didn't really adjust that well, either.  

It's a process, that's all it is.  I spent last night kicking myself for sucking, but today I'm over it.  I'm paying to take this class, so I'm paying to get the kinks out of my technique.  As every acting teacher really wants every acting student to learn, yes, indeed, I am enough.  Simple, loose, and concentrated.  That's all you ever need. As well as a disproportionately large head.